I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
