You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
