I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i out mim tonsoeep
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