Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
