we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
