Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
