I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
