pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The power of my boobs compel you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
