Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the day after is always just damage control
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
