I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
