i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
