Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
