turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
