speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
