your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
