STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
