Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
