I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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