took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
