dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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