help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
