i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
