TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
