Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
