it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
