even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
the raccoons are back...
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