i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
