Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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