I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
