i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
