I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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