Do you still have your period?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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