I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
