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I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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