I could have mohawked her pubes.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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