Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
