I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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