Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
