That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
