i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im holly from the hills drunk
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
