my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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