apparently the secret to your success is patron
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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