just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize