Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.