i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.