dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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