According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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