hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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