im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She bit a glass in half.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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