I'm sorry my penis didn't work
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize