Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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