I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
