so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
