hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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