ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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