so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
