I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
