Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
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I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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