Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
