So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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