it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
